this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] iByteABit@hexbear.net 37 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to shit your pants with it

parenti-hands

[–] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

carlin-pog Think you've got the wrong polemicist there (unless that's part of the bit)

[–] iByteABit@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

Ooh yeah it was Carlin, couldn't remember but it gave me Parenti vibes

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 29 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Remember, people: Fiber, fiber, fiber (and lots of water.)

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 18 points 6 days ago

Nah, we've got grease for that now

Lubes up the tract, poop just sluices out

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Lol yeah, to me it sounds like what you can find in America to eat is such piss-poor nutrition your GI tract can't handle it. Even if you eat huge amounts, you shouldn't be constipated because of it, that's because you ate a bunch of carbs, fat and animal protein without any fiber at all.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 9 points 6 days ago

Fat, salt, and sugar are our 3 major food groups.

[–] Facky@hexbear.net 6 points 6 days ago

Going to America to do list:
Buy fiber tablets

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 6 days ago

Fiber? Is that a new side at taco bell?

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The recommended dosage of 5 capsules of psyllium powder, 4 times per day may seem absurd... but the real absurdity is the diet that we expect our GI tract to handle.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 5 points 6 days ago

Word. I take like two a day and the improvement is drastic

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 29 points 6 days ago
[–] propter_hog@hexbear.net 27 points 6 days ago

Tagline please

[–] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 21 points 6 days ago (1 children)

they're gonna need a c-section

[–] axont@hexbear.net 15 points 6 days ago

the c stands for crap because of all the doodoo crap coming out the butthole

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 10 points 6 days ago

Real freedom is having all that shit pumped out through tube bolso-pain

[–] atoro@lemmy.ml 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

おしりがアメリカサイズはできないね

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 days ago