CrispyFern

I was today years old when I learned that "don't get it twisted" DOESN'T refer to testicular torsion

The man was a drink mogul, but the crooked media will only ever remember him for his golf hobby

If I'm ever a grandparent I'll tell you what, I am going to lie all the fucking time. I am going to give those kids so much misinformation. They will not know what is real and what isnt. I am going to completely rattle their entire worldview, alright? And it's not gonna be just my grandchildren, its gonna be everyone until they're like, "I think gramps has the dementia. I think we should send them to the home." and then I lock it the fuck in because it was a bit. You're not sending me anywhere. I'm locked in. Suddenly I'm perfect again, right as rain. I'm gonna get in people's heads. I think that's some of the most fun you can have as an old person. That and petty crime.

Tried to breach containment again

Failed again

I have been removed from the cycle of Samsara. my soul will not be reincarnated

I'm getting reported to hr

For those of you don't know bald people can move faster because of their aerodynamics.

"Alright guys he might be cracked."

Attack misses

"Guys. He's dogshit."

canadian

New new fear unlocked