this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
745 points (99.1% liked)

Greentext

4235 readers
1030 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SomethingBurger@jlai.lu 135 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

DOOM Eternal

game eventually ends

[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 77 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 57 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

See also: BioShock: Infinite.

[–] Protoknuckles@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago

And Katamari Forever

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

They were probably referring to the development time.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 108 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

> Final Fantasy
> For the 16th fucking time

Compare that to:

> Endwalker
> Literally walk to the final boss

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 91 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

No Man's Sky

Obviously I am up here

[–] Skua@kbin.earth 46 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 weeks ago

Assigned female at purchase

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

"Oh, Trans' Sky"

[–] CyberMonkey404@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 79 points 2 weeks ago (15 children)

> Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

> Not a single vice to be found


> House Flipper

> All houses are orientated normally


> Untitled Goose Game

> Has title


> Octodad

> Absolutely not a single octopus in the game whatsoever


> Golf With Your Friends

> No friends.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I was thinking Vice City, no vices?? But I think I get what sort of vice you mean now

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

For anyone else who still doesn't understand!

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (14 replies)
[–] Kushan@lemmy.world 70 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You know what, shout out to Concord here. The official definition of a concord:

agreement or harmony between people or groups.

Everyone did in fact agree not to play the game.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 61 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

>Battlefield 4

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield


>Pokémon Yellow

>Has other colors

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 21 points 2 weeks ago

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield

Also:

> Is at least the sixth game in the Battlefield franchise, with the most generous possible interpretation of what counts as a mainline game.

[–] Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com 55 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

>Dark Souls
>Souls emit light

>Hyper Light Drifter
>There's no car in the game

>Final Fantasy
>Has more than 10 sequels, hardly "final"

[–] Piemanding@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

>Dark Souls

>Literally only one Dark Soul

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] nl4real@lemmy.world 53 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Team Fortress 2

No Fortress, nobody plays as a fucking team, and it's the third game.

[–] GoodEye8@lemm.ee 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I technically it might be the first game on the account of the previous 2 being mods.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Dungrad@feddit.org 50 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Counter Strike

Only initial strikes

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
> Legend of Zelda
> You're playing as Link save for a few games
> Wolfenstein 3D
> Best it can do is raycasting and 2D sprites scaled
> Valve Software Inc.
> Is a game developer and publishing company, does not develop software for plumbing
> Epic Games
> Nowadays only create Fortnite, which is the opposite of being epic
[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 30 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
> Enter the Matrix
> No math whatsoever in the game
load more comments (2 replies)

Legend of Zelda

But you're saving Zelda, so I think it gets a pass. Link's Awakening is right out though, Zelda isn't even a character in that one.

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 44 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Wolfenstein 3D, Duke Nukem 3D

2.5D engines. 😏

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Rounding up on .5 is the most common method of rounding!

[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They call it halflife because Gordon is middle aged

[–] Rokin@lemm.ee 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ya, but look at what he does at his job. He'll be lucky to make it to 54.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 37 points 2 weeks ago

Oxygen not Included: Starts with oxygen.

[–] bollybing@lemmynsfw.com 32 points 2 weeks ago

Killing floor

Scenery is non-destructible

Black Mesa

All the mesas are actually brown

Max Payne 2:The Fall of Max Payne

Actually he does fall over a lot in this game

[–] WldFyre@lemm.ee 31 points 2 weeks ago

Control

Literally everything is out of control

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 31 points 2 weeks ago

Dead Cells

Literally unable to die

Slay the Spire

The Spire slays you (I'm bad at it, okay)

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Mortal Kombat 1 - This is the 12th game in the series

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 10 points 2 weeks ago

See also: Battlefield 1

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 weeks ago

Resident Evil:

Numerous non-residents are evil too

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 weeks ago

Dead Space

You are alive and fight in claustrophobic environments.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening

Zelda doesn't even appear

[–] odium@programming.dev 11 points 2 weeks ago

Hades 2: Hades is barely in it

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Infinite Wealth

Never have enough money.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] sag@lemm.ee 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Dark Souls

Have white souls in it

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

EVE Online: humanity’s distant future

Halo: “Run! It’s the demon!”

Mario Kart: drive around as Bowser

Call of Duty: skip work to play

Overwatch: small ground troop battles on city streets

Battlefield: Hardline: use signal jammers to disrupt enemy radio comms

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Half Life is an accurate title. During normal playthroughs it’s rare to have more than 50hp.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] yamanii@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

River City Girls

You can play as the boys.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 2 weeks ago

Counter Strike - You're attacking first

Double Dragon - Lacks even a single dragon

Freespace - Space is already occupied

Risk of Rain - Never rains

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War

Singing is an important part of the plot.

load more comments
view more: next ›