this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] JoYo@lemmy.ml 232 points 2 weeks ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] Moops@fedia.io 182 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

$50 that Trump rages about this in the next 24 hours thinking Biden is still running.

[–] UFO64@lemmy.world 72 points 2 weeks ago

Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

[–] Late2TheParty@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

[–] BigFatNips@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago
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[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 143 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

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[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 141 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 50 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

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[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 120 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 88 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 27 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 33 points 2 weeks ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

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[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 70 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 16 points 2 weeks ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 66 points 2 weeks ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] Sasuke@hexbear.net 59 points 2 weeks ago

I'm glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I'll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

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[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 35 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm not even American but I've already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that's exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I'm practically a swing state of my own, the way I'm swinging my massive votes around.

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[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 33 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Im writting in Joe Biden this november biden-leftist

[–] nohaybanda@hexbear.net 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Did you forget to ask someone? hillary-assassin

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[–] Gosplan14_the_Third@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

Based, thank you for your vote

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago

But a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Trump!

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 23 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.

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[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)
[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 76 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] atocci@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago

Among other works

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[–] Alsephina@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 weeks ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

[–] WrenFeather@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

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