chat

One of the things that incels are (rightly) criticized for is their attitude that they deserve sex, the sense of entitlement. But let's face it, that attitude is not remotely unique to incels, in fact it's kind of become the norm in Western society. Plenty of sex-havers feel entitled to sex too but it's seen as less of a problem because well, they have sex. Mainstream culture teaches us from an alarmingly young age to stake our self-worth on our ability to get laid, to an incredibly unhealthy degree.

I think about movies like American Pie and Superbad which reinforce this idea that if you don't lose your virginity before reaching adulthood then you must be some kind of loser. There's something deeply unsettling to me about media, created by adults, shaming children for not having sex.

On this topic, I don't really like how "incel" has become synonymous with "misogynist" - yes, incels are misogynists but I'm sorry to say, plenty of misogynists get laid. The majority of violence against women comes from men who are in relationships. I want to reiterate that this is in no way a defense of incels, many of whom at least fantasize about hurting women, or have done so. But I think it's a mistake to blame some fringe group of internet losers for a problem that is so much larger than them. Incels have become this convenient scapegoat for misogyny and patriarchy at large.

Whenever a guy says or does something misogynist it has become a generic insult to call him an "incel", regardless of whether he actually is or not. It's an immature retort which basically amounts to "yeah, well I bet you don't get pussy, loser".

There’s a weird contradiction with virginity of both being fetishized and mocked. Good, pious individuals stay chaste and wait until marriage, but also you’re a loser if you hit your twenties and still haven’t gotten laid. There’s an impossible standard to meet so yeah, I can see why it’s an attractive notion to blame some Other, that the double standard would be obtainable if not for them.

This is absolutely the root of it. It's not feee-males it's patriarchy

Some of the shame may well be internal, too. If you ever dared to peek into 4ch!n "incel" communities, they hate each other there, and themselves, to a violent degree. They pick themselves apart until wrist diameter deficits and the like send them spiraling deeper into "blackpill"