this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023
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Problem is he only got to experience the fun part. Not the sleepless nights, diaper changing, huge expenses, all that stuff
Yeah, I'm happy just being an uncle.
I found that stage very boring cause they're basically a slug and it's the same cycle on repeat, was on parental leave and had way more time to myself than I did just working a normal job. Back to work toddler stage was the most financially draining because of daycare but the government reimbursement program made it very affordable. It's definitely more fun when they're able to communicate and have opinions and stuff, and never had a serious problem with behavioral issues. They just can't regulate their emotions or know what they are really so you have to teach them all that.
I'd say for the most part the downsides I hear from younger people without kids are sort of based on naive anxieties that any new parent goes through. Financial concerns are legit although the US is notoriously bad for supporting new parents. We had 18 months fully paid parental leave to split for example. The real downsides are that it takes more intention and planning to do things, but there's even an upside to that in that you condense a lot of what you enjoy and use the time way more effectively. It's like well maybe that thing isn't really that important, and this other thing really is important. It puts a microscope up to your daily life basically and I think that's what causes the anxiety for people who envision what having kids is like.
It definitely shakes the snow globe of life up and I wouldn't even say that's a good thing for everyone, but also nobody is better or worse because of whether they have kids or not. I hate those remarks parents have sometimes like "oh they don't have kids so you know" and you can feel that distain and jealousy in their voice.
Yeah, I’m an American which is why I included the part about expenses lol
It's a lot more important in that situation. I'm always shocked working with Americans and we say goodbye to someone going on parental leave, and it seems like the next meeting they're back and I can't imagine how they do it.
My parental leave started the spring the pandemic hit and living in the middle of nowhere made it very relaxing. Switched everything to home delivery, had nothing else to do, would just grab a few beers and go on a 10k walk for the afternoon with the stroller, was baking and cooking every day. At that stage I'd just bring her outside and give her like a half of a watermelon we'd scooped out and that would be entertainment for the day lol
It's hard for men in the US to get any parental leave at all. I used 1 week of vacation time that I had saved up and then back to work.
I'm gradually getting out of the boot camp phase after months of having a baby on oxygen, surgery, and other stuff (she was born about 3 months early, 1 pound 4 ounces/580 grams).
Meanwhile, a friend of mine has a baby a couple months older than mine (going by "adjusted age") and a 5-year-old. It gives a fun glimpse into what we should expect, whether it's walking or inexplicably calling her parents by their first names (because "that's your name! 🤷♂️")
It's been rough, but I think this will be fun.
What's wrong about calling parents by their first names?
Most kids don't and it's funny and startling.