this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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all 27 comments
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[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 41 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 weeks ago

Nature's pocket

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 4 points 3 weeks ago

Just keep it sealed tight

[–] MIDItheKID@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

I prefer the term "Keister stash"

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, I guess it depends on where he's keeping his phone while nude. He might enjoy a little nude pickpocketing, if he's open minded, and the pickpocket has sufficient lube

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 weeks ago

It does leave your flesh pockets awfully exposed

[–] 58008@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This is why I keep my front door key in my foreskin. Either I evade the pickpocket, or I make a new friend. I cannot lose.

As a younger man, I was able to unlock the door hands-free. These days, I need to fish the key out of my floppy beige KKK hood like a sock trapped in a duvet cover on laundry day.

[–] Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I call this comment, the "58008's Wild Ride"

[–] harmsy@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Mr. Skeltal's was worse.

Edit: I misremembered the meme. It was Mr. Bones. Doot doot.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 1 points 3 weeks ago

You thank mr skeltal for helping you get off mr bones wild ride.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I keep my keys in my prison pocket. Along with my phone. And my wallet. And my EDC pocket knife. And a Leatherman. And a Moleskin and a couple of pens. And a tactical flashlight. And a small first aid kit.

I do walk a bit funny though.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Which tactics do you employ with that flashlight?

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 7 points 3 weeks ago

Strike hard, strike first, show no mercy!

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So, like, which one goes in first? And if you need that, do you have to pull everything else out of your pocket to get to it?

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Nah, they go in any order and then you just kind of... rootle around in there.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 1 points 3 weeks ago

Cool, cool cool cool... your pocket knife isn't spring-assisted is it? or a gravity knife?

[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

That's where you're wrong: for nature's pocket can still be picked and it doesn't even need to be full to do so

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Bro needs to do some manscaping on his eyebrows for real fam, no cap.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago
[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

On jah the Rizzler is going to flush this bozo down the skibidi toilet.

[–] MelastSB@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

You're just jealous

[–] nonentity@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

…he enjoys it.

[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 weeks ago

"Hold my bear" I wispered, reaching for my kitchen tongs

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah but what about nutkicking, then?

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago

Simple, just get into cbt

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Jokes on you, I keep my bills rolled in my foreskin.