this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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First born nipper of seven weeks is well for which I count my blessings. Fresh challenges for daddy though: I don't have the emotional and physical comfort from my girlfriend that I had become accustomed to. Obviously, she is looking after a baby for everything she's worth, with me right behind her. We're breastfeeding. Circumstances conspired for me to get away for a night out a week ago - for the first time - with my best friend and it was wonderful. I was a lot less stressed afterwards and had a lot more to give the next day. But it also reminded me of the time before we had our baby; fun, sex, freedom, all that jazz. We managed to have some rushed sexy time a few weeks ago (thanks grandpa), a couple of brief cuddles and a couple of limited heart-to-heart chats but really I feel like I'm basically just a cook, potwash, caretaker and babysitter. Whilst being hyper-focussed our baby, she also tries her best not to overload me, which I'm grateful for. But I'm not getting much love, care, understanding or respect from anywhere at the moment. Nice moments with my daughter just about keeps me in the game tbh. Do any of you recongnise this? Can you offer any light at the end of the tunnel, recommend what to do? I'm feeling very strapped in. Thanks

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[–] twinnie@feddit.uk 13 points 5 months ago

This bit is tough and you kinda just have to wait it out. Lean on family if you can and try and get a few nights out together. The hardest bit about this phase is that you feel like it will never end but it does, even if it feels like ages. Ignore people who tell you this is the best bit, they’ve just got rose tinted glasses. But with each month that passes it gets less shit. Some people say it doesn’t start getting better until around six but that’s bollocks, even 1 year is ten time better than 1 month.

Some people love the baby phase but I hated it. Just remember that you don’t have to fix everything, they’ll grow out of most of the problems. Try to find other kids the same age to hang out with, that’s an easy win no matter how old they are.