this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
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Bullying and hazing are contagious. Most of the people like that experienced some degree of it before, either by being born in the "correct" conditions and watching others being bullied/hazed, or more likely by being bullied/hazed.
Ultimately, the contagion spreads upon the promise of getting a little rush of power from dishing out abuse on the next person targeted and reinforcing the infected with a sense of stability and security in the established norms.
To my infinite shame, I used to be like this. I was bullied a lot, and I internalized that to mean I was an inferior and unworthy person. The flipside of that was that, on the rare occasions I could be one of the bullies, I jumped at the chance because (in my mind) it proved that I wasn't entirely without value.
The fact that you acknowledge that, feel regret for it, and I can only assume you have sought atonement for it means a whole lot.
I've known childhood bullies that never changed and in fact looked back at the "good old days" where "boys could be boys."