True facts people first started sending me money because they liked my posts/tweets about being homeless and shit. I keep forgetting that a lot of things that are banal to me are really fucking interesting to normies—just blogging about my life would draw an audience. I haven’t been doing that lately—I’ve become more withdrawn than ever before and that’s likely a major aspect of what’s hurting me.
allthetimesivedied
joined 11 months ago
Fuck America.
Basically the only thing I ever did wrong is really, really miss them. I lost them because of mistakes and misunderstandings and my own stupidity, and I’d give anything to have them back, and that’s “creepy” and “stalkerish.”
They were the coolest person I’ve ever met, and I haven’t met a single person since who comes even close. Everyone else is so disinteresting—I’m supposed to shrug and go “Oh well” and find someone else. They’re the only person I’ve ever cried over and the only person who makes me smile when I think of them—and that’s just a figment of my imagination.
How do you think it affects my mental health when I get called creepy and insane if I dare talk to anyone other than a therapist about this?
I don’t get WiFi at the new spot where my friend is paying me to watch his shit, and it’s pissing me off.
He is also routinely staying up for too long and then conking the fuck out randomly and it’s annoying as fuck. His girlfriend called like 8 times and I couldn’t get him to fucking wake up. And now I have a friend who really needs his help and he’s asleep again. He was supposed to grab something for me and he fucked that off.
I like him. He’s closer than I’ve ever thought I could find to my ex-friend, in the sense of being a drug user who isn’t a disgusting piece of shit. But sometimes I kinda hate him.
Also someone SWAT’d me yesterday. Or tried to trololol.
I’m watching a friend’s van while he’s staying indoors temporarily. He’s actually paying me in cash (and other things) and I basically get room and board in the form of a cabin-style tent next to the van.
Mention of drug use
He’s also really cool. First homeless person I’ve met in a long time who isn’t either racist nor extremely nihilistic about racism. He’s the first person I’ve met in a long time who does drugs and doesn’t twack out and say stupid shit. He really likes me for some reason.
Horny
But his girlfriend—who’s also really cool—is really hot and not only looks like my ex-friend but sounds like them and has the same biting sarcasm as well.
This kills the crab.
But this cushy deal might be ending in a few days. Sadface.
My ex friend is obsessed with Legend of Zelda. :(
Alright, I’m joining the Taliban.
I don’t. I typically don’t have dreams at all most nights because of all the stimulants I abuse (I’ll sleep but not experience REM sleep or something).
I’ve read (Reddit comments and shit, never any “official” or scientific source) about people having dreams like this, where they’re so organic and detailed and seem to last long spans of time; AFAIK there isn’t a term for it and I wish there were/hope there is.
Way better, but that’s because there’s nothing sloshing around in there.
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Creamsicle is borrowing my noise canceling headphones.