Started a savings account
this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2024
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#1 - quitting drinking. I'd have been long dead by now the way I was going. #2 - starting meditation. I'm still not sure how I went 30-someodd years in this body prior with all that noise in my head.
I took up smoking. No, not the lung cancer one. Cooking is one of the best things to keep me positive since I got divorced several years ago: treating it as a hobby I can be enthusiastic about, rather than something to do when I’m hungry. This spring I bought a smoker and had great fun learning new cooking techniques, new meal combinations, and enjoyed some excellent food. Previously I tried to do a meal from a different cuisine every week, before that I learned to use cast iron
Giving up eating meat. Not sure if it was cause or effect, but I got so much more interested in cooking food properly and looking after myself. Food and cooking became one of my favourite hobbies and 7 years later is still my go-to healthy wind-down activity that helps me relax after a long day at work. Knock-on effects have meant I'm happier and healthier than I ever had been in my life.
I am well aware this won’t a popular answer.
I am also well aware of all the negative aspects of what I’m about to talk about. I believe these negative aspects to be real and I'm not disputing them.
I am also well aware of the follow on hard-sell-to-vulnerable-people problems that happens here. I myself felt under immense pressure to “buy more” when I did it, resisted and never heard back from them again.
But…
Attending the Landmark Forum was absolutely the biggest, long-term, positive thing I’ve ever done.
So many positive things followed on from that. In a long weekend, I genuinely changed who I was, towards something that was much more fulfilled, much more true to myself and with much greater self-worth. 25+ years later I still use the learnings, especially around taking accountability for everything that happens in my life and the realisation that every memory I have is flavoured by my interpretation of it too (since I own the interpretation, and I have made an active choice on how to interpret, I can change the interpretation and thus change the meaning the memory has for me; since my memories shape who I am, I can change who I am by changing my interpretation of my past).
I would not recommend it to anyone else. I learnt this the hard way, because I DID recommend it to someone else and they decided to leave their wife after doing the Landmark Forum course. I know that this is likely to have happened without my involvement but I still feel immensely awful about it. I should have kept my mouth shut.
Don’t do the Landmark Forum. You will be under difficult pressure, in a vulnerable spot, to attend more courses and to bring your nearest and dearest in as prospects. The view of the Landmark Forum is "we know it works, we know it transforms people's lives for the better - you do too; why don't you want your friends and family to experience the same transformation?". It's hard to argue against, both because you're surrounded by happy, transformed people when they pitch you, and also because, for me at least, it was actually true. It really did change me for the better, hugely so. I was intent on not "joining anything" but just take the upsides away. I saw many who immediately went out to become a "convert" and probably annoy and worry the f*** out of their friends and family. I really don't like this technique and I can't understand why they don't take the pressure off, which would remove a lot of the accusations that's fielded against them.
Having said all that, for me, it was the most positive thing I’ve ever done.
I'm also a landmark graduate, and I can confirm it is a life changing experience.
Doing the forum allowed me to realise I have so much wasted potential, I didn't have to be working minimum wage repairing laptops at the local computer store, I enrolled at University in a IT degree with the goal to be a software engineer. Doing the forum gave me the confidence to tell my boss I'm quitting and going to be a full time student and how that's a good thing for him. The forum gave me the confidence to talk honestly with my wife about what I want from our marriage, instead of me constantly trying to appease her wants. It caused me to have a real, meaningful, deep conversation with my mother, for the first time in 20 years. I was able to tell her frankly that her narcissistic tendencies in my formative years caused me to suffer from debilitating chronic anxiety in my 20s (my sister too), but it's okay because she did the best she could, and I'm getting it treated.
I went on to do the Self-Expression and Leadership course, and later the Advanced course. My wife did the same. I eventually stopped because of the endless and relentless hard-sell routines to get all your friends and family to come and sign up. They have to realise that's off-putting to most people, but it's their only marketing avenue so it must work reasonably well.
Going to the gym first time. I am 35, sitting behind my pc since i was 10. After going out and training for several months now my back doesn't hurt anymore, so i recommend :)
Taking psychedelics
Removed almost all advertising from my life. About the only stuff i see now is just bill boards.
I despise advertising. I won't sit through ads telling me I'm missing out, or my life would be much better if only I had x. How much of our lives is spent listening to someone try to convince us that we need some product? And somehow they've convinced us that wasting our time with their bullshit is 'normal'. Being marketed to constantly is not normal.
As someone with ADHD I swear we should get a fucking disability exemption from ADs - that shit can completely derail my train of thought and noticeably reduces my ability to enjoy whatever it's embedded in.
Looking back at cable? It was like an instant depression cycle where ADs kept me from ever actually getting into a show and deriving enjoyment. Instead, in my youth, I'd just veg and lose hours unfulfilled.
Finding a great trauma informed therapist. After many attempts and being scalped, I finally found her and she has been the most compassionate, understanding and to the point therapist I could ever ask for.
Finding a great doctor who actually listens and has helped me tons with my condition.
I just I didn't have to pay so much money to access these professionals, not that they don't deserve it, they do!
Starting to lift weights was the best decision I ever made and the best habit I've ever formed. Nagging aches and pains are basically a thing of the past. I'm way more useful, and my lower body, which was once withered and useless after a decade of working in an office, have been replaced with tree trunks and a dump-truck ass
A couple of the accessory benefits of this that in order to support my lifting progress I now eat way better, quit drinking and prioritize proper sleep. Overall it's just been a huge increase in quality of life
Drinking less. I saw an unflattering photo of myself and then decided to cut my alcohol consumption in half. It's been a couple years and I look and feel a lot better.
Spending that extra bit on high quality food and ditching the addictive high carb and salt American shit I was raised on. Having lived in NA and Europe for some reason American frozen food is allowed to be absolutely atrocious for you and it ends up costing a lot more money in health issues than just "springing" for fresh shit.
Basically 100% of food ads dont appeal to me cuz i know about all the tricks and games they play and the amount of added sugar and shit makes me 🤢
Staying away from social media
Joints got creaky so I started exercising. That was about sixteen years ago now and it has made a world of difference in my life and the adventures I can experience and enjoy.
I have a desk job. The combination of a rowing machine and sit-stand desk has been a game changer for my spine health
Meeting my partner. We met quite young, very formative years. I definitely wouldn't be the person I am now if it weren't for her and I am relatively certain I would have been worse.
Oh yeah also marxism radically altered my perception of the world. I can't say I enjoy it but I am glad it happened.
The most major were moving far from where I grew up, taking a job that was hybrid physical labor and office work, meeting my now fiancé, and reading Marxist theory.
The first forced me to grow up.
The second helped my sympathize with the trades, physical laborers, and other people that office-workers are normally out of contact with.
The third dramatically improved my life and opened my horizons.
The fourth helped me make sense of our crumbling systems and know what needs to be done.
Taking out loans to finish my last year of college