this post was submitted on 26 May 2024

254 points (99.6% liked)

Not The Onion

12045 readers

654 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

254

Highway bandits in Mexico make off with 40 tons of avocados (abcnews.go.com)

submitted 5 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

all 20 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] rubikcuber@feddit.uk 75 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Correct. Avocado ≠ Onion

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You should start a Lemmy community called NotAvocado about things that aren't avocado. I'd do it myself but I'm too lazy to find out how, let alone moderate it afterwards 😄

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

What about a pineapple? Is it an avocado?

Or a tough one - the Magna Carta?

[–] BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You've awakened Chuck

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Definitely an avocado.

[–] Plopp@lemmy.world 46 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Damn millennial bandits! Send out a warning to all toast manufacturers in the area asap!

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

Time to ban avocados. Then those millennials will finally be able to afford houses.

[–] SuckMyWang@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

My guacamole futures just went through the roof

[–] HorreC@kbin.social 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

But I just got in the 120 tonnes of toast in!!! I need these back!

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Your ratios are way off, consider going by volume instead.

Also: so you have the imported fancy sea salt?

[–] HorreC@kbin.social 5 points 5 months ago

I figured that each avocado would be good for 3 toasts. And I have people in utah at some lake just trying to dry it out for that rare salt.

[–] JanoRis@kbin.social 23 points 5 months ago

I might consider watch Fast and Furious again if Fast 11 contained a 40 ton avocado heist. The last one i saw was probably Fast 4

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 months ago

And they will be valuable if they can sell them in the next 4 to 6 hours!

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago

.... aaaaaaand now they're all mush.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I hate that when I think about Mexican avocados I always think about cartels! IDK who is worse, chiquita or cartels!

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

Chiquita is a cartel. The list of heinous shit they're responsible for is absurd.

[–] fiercekitten@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago

I’ve played enough Animal Crossing to know that you have to pester two tanukis twice a day about the current going rate for your produce, and absolutely DO NOT keep them for longer than a week!

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 7 points 5 months ago

They’ll probably launder them into real estate; possibly a penthouse in Dubai or a townhouse down the road from Buckingham Palace or something.

[–] refalo@programming.dev 4 points 5 months ago

fre sha vocado