Basically, ask them, as earnestly as possible, HOW do you focus? You'll likely get some rote answer, that's when you start digging. Acknowledge the obvious bit and drill into the difficult bit. They will quickly be left stuttering with a "you just do it" type response. See how long you can keep it going.

The more honest, earnest and even slightly desperate you are, the funnier it becomes. They just told you they have the secret to fix your life, but now won't share it. WHY won't they share?!?

[–] Pfeffy@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just play the 'How' game.

I'll bite.

Basically, ask them, as earnestly as possible, HOW do you focus?

I make coffee and then I remove distractions. Then I spend about 30 minutes forcing myself to do whatever task until it no longer is forced. I have specifically associated my office with focus and concentration on tasks. I do not look at social media or play YouTube or anything else in that room ever.

They will quickly be left stuttering with a "you just do it" type response. See how long you can keep it going.

I'm excited to see how you do this. Go ahead and demonstrate.

They just told you they have the secret to fix your life, but now won't share it. WHY won't they share?!?

Well I just shared. That method let me get off of Vyvanse. People have always had ADHD and they have figured out how to live with it forever. But sure, go ahead and pretend like your life is somehow ruined.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Then I spend about 30 minutes forcing myself to do whatever task until it no longer is forced.

Ok, HOW do you "force yourself"? I can do it for tightly aligned tasks, for a short period, but burn out rapidly. Back at university, I managed to induce heart arrhythmia pushing myself this way.

It also doesn't help with the initiator issue. HOW do you get yourself moving in the first place? I can reliably do it a couple of times a day, but day to day life needs more than that for basic maintenance.

Oh, and don't get me wrong, I'm functional, but it runs me at my mental limit all the time. Parenting pushed that to the next level. I'm permanently riding the knife edge of burnout.

[–] MonkeMischief 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

(1 week without a response) Well played 🤭

There ya go. I'm glad they could "just force themselves" and I REALLY do think tying together tasks, with environment, with timing, etc... really is key, but that's the worst part of it, that intangible "something" that sparks your brain into "just doing the thing and getting it over with."

Why do we have it sometimes and not others? Where can we get it when it's missing? Do we have to panic ourselves into EVERY task?

At some point it's just really hard constantly researching how to esoterically "program yourself" when the results will be wildly inconsistent on the best of days and all the normie books on productivity are like "Have you turned off your phone and tried making a list??? 😮👉🗒️ 😱"

... And then you look up the author and they're some corporate manager who just ~~discovered the secrets to personal mastery~~ hired 2 personal assistants and now they're doing just fine. "And you can too!"

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