ADHD

I was diagnosed with ADHD in adolescence. Since then it has always taken an enormous amount of pressure and energy for me to perform tasks that require focused attention. However, recently I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and started CPAP treatment. To my surprise, my ADHD symptoms greatly improved. I wish I had gotten a sleep study decades ago.

I’m sure the causes of ADHD are varied and complex so this won’t work for everyone, but just in case, you might want to get a sleep study.

Edit: I originally wrote that I “developed ADHD in adolescence”. I changed it because I had not intended to comment on whether ADHD is innate or acquired. I also changed “my ADHD went away” to “my ADHD symptoms greatly improved” for the same reason.

Note: Maybe it will be helpful if I give some context about what “ADHD” means to me. I’ve always thought of it as my brain working differently than most people. The most obvious characteristic has been that things most people consider “easy” like doing the dishes were entirely impossible for me to do in a timely fashion. I also struggled in school because I couldn’t get my homework done and I couldn’t study.

People, including my parents and teachers would all say things like “you’re not trying hard enough” or “you’re not applying yourself”. I tried, and failed, to explain that there was no amount of effort I could summon that could switch my brain into this steady productivity mode that other people could seemingly just turn on at will.

When I was a little kid, no one outside of maybe some academics had ever heard of ADHD, so my struggles were misunderstood and “my fault”. In my case, the hyperactivity symptoms were less prevalent, but I sometimes did annoying, obnoxious things.

I first heard of ADHD (just called ADD at the time) when I was a teenager. But there was still a big stigma around it and most people didn’t think it was a real condition, so I didn’t get treatment.

When I was a young adult, I finally got treated and prescribed stimulant medication. The medication made it possible for me to switch my brain into that steady productive mode, but it also had a lot of side effects.

Now, in middle age, my doctor suggested I have a sleep study due to some other symptoms I was having. So I did and they diagnosed me with sleep apnea with hypoxemia and prescribed CPAP treatment. After starting treatment I began to notice that I was able to switch my brain into that steady productive state even without medication. I began to wonder if sleep apnea (or perhaps more precisely nocturnal hypoxemia) had been the underlying cause of my symptoms all along.

Today, I saw an ADHD meme from another community and that prompted me to look up this community and share in case someone else could benefit from similar treatment. It had never occurred to me that there could be a connection between sleep apnea and ADHD symptoms until I tried the CPAP.

Like I said, I don’t suspect this will help everyone, but if there’s one person like me out there who it does help, I think it’s worth sharing.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/20910910

https://www.instagram.com/sarahandersencomics/?hl=en

I am curious what other folks have to say on this matter. This is quite specific to me, but perhaps pieces will be recognizable.

For me, growing up with undiagnosed ADHD which was really very apparent in every aspect of life looking back, many habits were built up without realizing. I also had a complex childhood dynamic, which I think is likely quite common in those with ADHD given both your own difficulties and the genetic component which means there is a pretty good chance that one of your parents has ADHD and faced similar struggles. In adulthood, it has been tricky to uncover these.

One of the maladaptive strategies I and many others developed in childhood was to lean into the anxiety as a source of stimulation and motivation. Not intentionally, but early on you are rewarded for these behaviours. Maybe...

• You didn't complete the homework but in a panic you get it done during your first class of the day.
• You stayed up all night doing a project that you forgot or postponed.
• You restrained yourself to the point of pain in family gatherings or other important social events.
• You did all of your chores in one angry burst because you were sick of reminders, aggression, or maybe passive aggression.
• After many experiences of getting things in late, losing track of time, or otherwise, you obsessively pay attention to the clock and deadlines.
• Faking illness, to the point of maybe even feeling that illness, to build back capacity after doing all of the previous.
• Many more...

The thing is, staying up late, avoiding stimming or talking, being preoccupied with time, panic working beyond your capacity - this is what likely got praised. Not the way you did it, but the end result. The only breaks were being physically exhausted to the point of people recognizing it as sickness.

In adulthood, I found myself feeling incredibly anxious about any kind of work. Any kind of commitment, really. Getting sick during periods where I can rest. Even with life circumstances being great and surrounded by great people, this feeling persists.

I found that two strategies were built up which evoked exactly the same physiological feelings.

1. Losing track of time and being fully engaged is a super power. I don't want to say ADHD is a superpower; it's a painful disorder, and I do not mean hyper focus here - I simply mean that when I'm not concerned with clock time, it feels free and productive. It isn't appreciated, though, when other people are around or depends on it. The maladaptive strategy? Find timelessness only when alone, avoid commitments which rely on time awareness, and becomes obsessed with due dates and deadlines and not allow myself to enter that timeless state where I really do my best work in fear of losing track.

2. A need for that panic to work. I'm not just talking about leaving things to the last minute as a motivator, but looking at a TODO list and generating a feeling of dread because that's the place you live when doing work. It's like clocking into work and putting on your anxiety hat.

I hadn't quite connected that this was a form of masking when alone, and it was fascinating to imagine taling off that mask and seeing what was left. Realizing that the situation wasn't evoking dread, I was, to make it familiar enough to get things done.

But with the right understanding, I've begun to see the truth in it. It isn't worth making yourself unhealthy and angry and sad to do more than you are capable of. It's also not worth doing that for things you ARE capable of.

Where is the solution?

It's probably different for everyone, and you might need a lot of assistance. I'm early, but I'm noticing lots of positive change. Basically, I'm allowing myself some risk by trying to not engage in those tasks when feeling that feeling. Stop nourishing that behaviour. Take the time to get into a better place, and then engage in the work and things that are tough during that. It's not easy, because it's very different from many years of experience, but it's a different kind of difficulty than the anxious feelings being used as fuel. When anxious, focusing on what's within and outside of my control, and not avoiding the anxiety. When feeling good, going and doing the things currently associated with anxiety, to re-associate it.

Basically, be the guardian you think you needed. Someone to reward your approach and not your results. Someone to say that being healthy is more important than the A. Someone who says it's okay to take a break or get lost in what excites you.

I hope this helps a little bit at least, and I'm interested to hear if others have experience with anything like this and how it's going! This could be linked to many things, but I'm just assuming it's a common history with those who have executive function, emotional regulation, and time perception problems.

As suggested myself and encouraged by the doc, I'll take a fraction of a normal dose to check it out first. He signed off on any dose that is lower than the one he prescribed (30 mg in the morning), and the capsules are intended for opening and dissolving in liquid.

So, I'm very sensitive. Low dose opioids for a cough give me euphoria, and when I tried Modafinil, 1/4 of a pill (2 pills is normal!) turned out to be just right for me.

On one hand, I could really use the full productivity boost tomorrow, which would mean trying 1/4 of 30 mg, 7.5 mg. On the other hand, safer would be 1/8th again as it was with Modafinil. Then again, 1/4 of the Modafinil dose was "bearable", it was not intense suffering.

Trying 1/8th in the morning and another 1/8th at noon if the effect is really as low as a cup of coffee could also be an option, with the risk of losing sleep. I tend towards that option.

Some of the worst hours of my life were on the minimum dose Venlafaxine (and many report that), so I'm careful.

What do you think? Doing the super-low 1/10th test at 4 pm would still take away my sleep, right?

Last week i was chatting away to my counsellor, and we came up with a novel idea, body doubling works for most of us to get stuff done, makes it easier to get up and start when others are doing a thing.

For me it also works the other way, if everyone else is sitting down, watching TV and winding down, i find it really hard to get up and do the things i'd rather do, like near impossible.

Anyone else notice anything similar?

So I went to my doctor and was like "yeah my counselor said I should ask about the process to get tested for ADHD because of XYZ"...

He then had to gently explain that a year ago he had referred me to a local pysch for testing because I already took the ADHD assessment.

Anyway, long story short, after doing testing (which I showed up for on the wrong day the first time) I got an official ADHD diagnosis.

After waiting for many years, I thought I've been at least on track to get treatment for the past 6 months. All out of pocket, in addition to the nearly EUR 1000 health insurance premium per month.

Lengthy psychologist sessions, official diagnosis by a licensed therapist in writing. Doctor appointment with the written diagnosis, but he said only a licensed psychiatrist can do the initial prescription. Find one, make appointment.

But then he needed up to date blood count and ECG first, appointment cancelled 2 hours before it started. The blood count was at a different doctor than my usual one, because last time, mine was on vacation. So ECG and blood count from two different locations. All during hours I actually had to be at work. But what can I do - botch one last job before I get treatment and everything will be great for the future, right?

Sent it all in upfront, and another problem: Apparently, the ECG must be evaluated for findings. Which any doctor is trained to do, but it needs to be returned to the doctor who did it, like this magic quest, because in theory, I could send an ECG that is not mine to a different doctor for the findings. (Cui bono?)

The last 4 steps, I've been told that this is "this one really really really last thing", and it sounds like one of these advance fee scams that are like "just one more Apple gift card for the taxes, and we can transfer your lottery winnings".

I bet all of these things would be easy for somebody who does NOT have ADHD. They just do them one by one, and somehow that happens at a magic hour where the doctor office is open but also their workplace is not.

The lack of understanding how ADHD works, by the very people who are supposed to diagnose and treat it, reminds me of this scene from Groundhog Day: He explains the problem of being in a 24 hour time loop to a seemingly understanding therapist, who then is like: "I understand completely, come back in 3 days for a solution!" Ah, here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFdwLNiZq7M

Under-stimulated -> depressed -> exhausted -> can't move -> under-stimulated

Under-stimulated -> anxious -> isolate yourself -> under-stimulated

I must've been a real badass in a past life to piss off so badly whichever God created me.

I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult although I've demonstrated clear symptoms since early childhood. I manage pretty well with medication.

I tend to "fidget" a lot throughout the day with involuntary movements that tend to vary periodically for reasons that I've never understand. Sometimes it's popping my ears or clenching my jaw. Sometimes it's "popping" my toes, bouncing my leg, or snapping my fingers, etc.

Recently, my wife told me something that I did not know. Apparently I do the same sort of involuntary movements at night to the point that it wakes me up. She said it's been going on for years. I honestly had no idea. It kind of fits the description of "Periodic Limb Movement Disorder." There are some theories that "PLMD" can be a comorbidity with ADHD although the research on this is pretty sparse.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing and are there any viable treatment options?

I am not affiliated with them in any way, and I do not benefit if any of y’all choose to try it (except for making the world an ever so slightly better place, I hope)

Does anyone else feel the need to help others? I feel almost compelled to help or chip in with any 2 cents that may help someone with something they asked even if I dont know anything about what they are talking about.

Edit: spelling and rephrase.

I have tried:
• air drying (takes too long, extends wet hair misery)
• having short hair (can't have short hair at one of my jobs)
• dryer bonnet (somewhat better cuz at least I can sorta multitask)
• sitting in front of box fan (takes too long)
• paying hairdresser to do it (expensive)

Figured I'd see if you guys know any tips and tricks...

Just discovered this.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/20136093

Goblin friend

Regardless of whether you're medicated/unmedicated, or altered/not altered or any combination of those?

For me, its my hat I like to wear to keep my hair out of my way and contained somewhat lol

Also my pajama shirt(s), no idea why but its been better recently since I moved the "clothes chair" from being the laundry basket in the bathroom (just hanging there) to a dedicated shelf in the closet 😅

Hey there. I am incredibly sad, downright depressed and mentally exhausted.

I wanted to celebrate my birthday yesterday for the first time (maybe ever?) with lots of nice people. I invited about 30-50 people. Some, I invited personally, some just casually through groups. Lots of those people I thought of as somehow close and friendly.

I exhausted myself in the effort of preparing the party, I rented a room, I prepared photos, activities, food, music, and just put a lot of mental energy into the planning. I have been planning it for about 2 months, invited those who were most important to me back then even.

5 people showed up.

I am devastated. I was always so anxious about my birthday and never celebrated it. I think I removed myself from groups a lot in my life. And only the last two years, I've started to understand my diagnosis and how to communicate with people. This throws all my anxiety and pain back into my body and brain.

I don't know how to deal with it. Especially I don't know how to interact with the people that were important to me and who didn't show (or those who didn't even cancel). My past behaviour was burning down all the bridges. I don't think I should do that. But I also don't know how to pretend like it doesn't hurt....

Any advice about rejection anxiety and ... well, real rejection?

Thank you.

That ended with me finally explaining to him how the way he and my mother treated me as a child, with undiagnosed (and really not even conceptually understood at the time) ADHD caused me lasting trauma that persists to this day. I’m a 45 year old man, and I cried.

Edit: A great point made in the comments I want to highlight; while it's perfectly normal to grieve, it's also perfectly normal to not grieve. If my points relate to you, look into it a bit more and consider it, but if not - and you don't connect with it - don't be forcing yourself into a headspace, we're all different!

I think this is a very important and not very discussed topic. Dr. Barkley put out a video about this on YouTube a little while back, and I'd already started considering this well before and I was excited to see it backed by his experiences. I think it's quite important because it can help to make sense of different reactions and feelings and try to gain some clarity.

In short, upon getting diagnosed for ADHD, you very well might (I can't say likelihood) experience some "stages" of grief (order not a given) - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. These phases can come and go, and come back again, and Dr. Barkley has a going recommendation to practitioners to discuss this as part of their diagnosis, but they often do not.

I'll just give my own experience here and I highly recommend checking in with yourself / your supports to consider if you might be in this place and needing clarity, and I hope it's helpful.

• Diagnosis: I was original diagnosed with ADHD as a differential diagnosis, but received no treatment. Things continued getting worse, and eventually a new psychiatrist said it was clearly ADHD and started medication.

• Fake Acceptance 1: I was willing to say I had ADHD, and discuss my symptoms and share experiences. It was all surface level.

• Denial 1: The diagnosis was short; I'd had the differential, but I was surprised how quickly he prescribed me medication. I took the medication, and things were much better (early meds euphoria) but even still, I thought I was probably placeboing. I straight up thought my psychiatrist had prescribed a placebo to placate me just complaining about everyday things.

• Anger 1: No, these meds are helping - and they could have helped me for so long. Tens of thousands of dollars in tuition fees from missed deadlines, rent overpayments, not making reimbursement deadlines, late penalties - decades of deep depression, burnout - when it was so obvious. Why wasn't I checked out? Why did my first psychiatrist give up on me? Why didn't my parents ever notice the many signs?

• Denial 2, Bargaining 1: Maybe eventually I can just develop the systems I need to get by, I won't need meds, or maybe I will, but I'll be able to be at 100% without ever exhausting myself or anything. Maybe this is just temporary, and I'll develop the things I need to get through it. Maybe there just wasn't childhood signs.

• Depression 1: But there were. There were signs, the meds help a lot but they don't solve everything. It sucks. It's unfair, I'm tired, I need a break.

• Acceptance 1: After a bit, I started to really feel like I had a disorder, and it was here to stay. Not only that, but the way that I think is fundamentally different from the way most people think, and I will not relate to most people on a deep level because it's been so core to me. I appreciated those I could connect to deeply, and recognized that things are just going to be harder. Society doesn't need to change - I mean, it could - but it's my responsibility, my burden, but that's okay.

• Denial 3, Bargaining 2: ... but, if I just set up my calendar, and set up alarms, and commit to things, we're good! No issues, I'm sure.

!adhs@feddit.org

Feel free to join!

We want to share experiences, tips, news, studies... and discuss about ADHD.

Since things may be different in Germany or other german speaking countries, I created that Community.

By that I mean what are some powerful and simple basic applied techniques or behaviors that are really useful you've developed or discovered in your life that makes things work or improve.

Lets keep them simple and powerful 🧙‍♂️

Let people on the phone know that you don't mind if something is taking a bit longer and that you're cool and with them whatever happens. Say something like, its okay I'm not in a rush ☺️

They'll appreciate taking some of the pressure off and showing you are a receptive audience (you're rooting for them) and I've found it to get superior outcomes since I started doing it, even tho I was always generally polite previously

My memory is not improving as I go unfortunately. I’ve realized that half assing it on this is not working.

If it doesn't feel right then it's hard (impossible) to give a shit. I hear that a lot here.

Money, grades, the advice of revered authority. None of it works. I just blow it off. And suffer of course. But I'm still poking along.

But a couple of things have felt right. And those things go very well. I can draw, I can write software. I can successfully give my attention to a project like that.

One such thing is meditation. Whatever's going on with ADHD, meditation messes with it. I found the button in the center of my head that makes ADHD happen. It feel 100% right. It's like I found a magic thing.

So if you are an ADHD guy then maybe it would feel right for you too.

I recently had to stop taking my vyvanse due to some bad side effects and holy shit I forgot how bad this was. I can't do anything. I have so much shit I need to do but I sit down to do it and it genuinely fills me with dread. I am just staring at my computer. Even getting to the webpage I needed took hours of convincing. This is horrible, even caffeine isn't helping. What do y'all do? How do you manage?